Pleasure

I'm a little bored. So for your brief reading pleasure I will be posting movie quotes from some of my favorite comedy movies. I hope that they bring a moment of joy to you on this long and drawn out Friday before the weekend.

OLD SCHOOL
Mitch: I've had a hell of a day and even worse week. And all I want to do is get some fucking sleep.
Beanie: Whoa. Whoa. Why the F-ing? Why in front of the kid? All ya gotta do is say "earmuffs" to him, and you can say "Fuck, shit, bitch."
Frank: Cock. Balls.
Beanie: I'm just trying to make a point, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it.

ROAD TRIP
Rubin: It's supposed to be a challenge, it's a shortcut! If it were easy it would just be the way.
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Corky the Dog: Hey, Jack, have that bitch make me some blueberry pancakes... Right now.
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E.L.: Barry, hit the lights. It's boner time!

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Ron Burgundy: [to dog] You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.
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Ron Burgundy: I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly...
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Austin Powers: Goldmember

Dr. Evil: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my submarine lair. It's long, hard and full of seaman!
[Laughs, then notices he isn't getting any laughs from his submarine crew]
Dr. Evil: No? Nothing? Not even a titter? Tough sub...
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Goldmember: Can I paint his yoo-hoo gold now? It's kind of my thing, you know...
Dr. Evil: How 'bout no, you crazy Dutch bastard!

So I Married An Axe Murderer

Stuart Mackenzie: Would ya look at the size of that kid's head! It's the size of a planetoid and it has it's own weather system! Looks like an orange on a toothpick!
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Stuart Mackenzie: I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik; spherical but quite pointy at parts! Aye, now that was offsides, now wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow.


SHREK

Donkey: Whoa. Look at that. Who'd wanna live in a place like that?
Shrek: That would be my home.
Donkey: Oh and it is LOVELY. You know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a NICE boulder.

Wedding Crashers
Jeremy Grey: Okay, what's our back story?
John Beckwith: We're brothers from New Hampshire. We're venture capitalists.
Jeremy Grey: I'm sick of that. Let's be from Vermont. And let's have an emerging maple syrup conglomerate.
John Beckwith: Wait, that's stupid. We don't know anything about maple syrup.
Jeremy Grey: I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?