How is Life?...


So, What's up? Not much here. I didn't leave the house again today. That was fun. I did watch the Cubs win against the Angels in 15 innings, a very stressful game. Still pondering what I am going to do with my life. Haven't really tried insanely hard to find a job since a few possibilities have fallen through or not materialized. I'm probably going to look for a part time job so I can at least have some money coming in. I have been working the door at DH Brown's here every so often and that helps me out some but it isn't enough to sustain me in the least. I do enjoy that very much though. I love people and it is a very social job. I like it because if I see someone I kind of know I can shoot the breeze with them for a minute or two but then they move on. I am not stuck in a conversation that goes nowhere. I have people to card, people to watch, and the people that I know came there to drink so they hit up the bar or get a table and wait for one of the wonderful cocktail waitresses.

Anywho, I haven't had anything to drink since my birthday "observed" which was last Monday. I'm proud of myself. I'm kind of showing myself that I don't need alcohol to have a good time. Which is something that is a good rule to go by for everyone. Alcohol is something but it is not everything. So I have been hanging out and having fun this last week but not drinking. It's all good. I don't know how long I will do this though. Not that I am craving a drink or anything but I feel it is fun to exercise control like this. To say no thanks when people offer you a drink.

In less than 12 days, June 25th is my 1 year aniversary of quitting smoking cigarettes. I am very proud of myself for that. I quit cold turkey from smoking a pack a day (or more, it varied). My lungs are finally doing better I can tell. I can even be in bars lately and not be hacking up crud by the end of the night. I no longer have that persistant cough that kept me up at night and was disgusting and unattractive to hear. It was tough at first, yes, but now I don't even worry about it. I can get drunk as can be and still not smoke. You just have to get it into your head that you are done. No more. Finished. Sure it will cross your mind but you just have to say no, and no is a lot easier than people tell themselves. So if you are a smoker and are reading this, please contemplate quitting. Mainly for yourself, but also for those who care about you. Through the last year I have realized how bad it really is. Sure it is a slow killer, but a killer nonetheless. Who wants to die before their time? Raise you hand right now and say I want to die before I am supposed to and I don't care about those who care about me or myself. Cause that is what smoking does. This is solely my opinion. If you disagree with what I say then fine. That is your opinion and we all are entitled.

So, I can control alcohol, and I can quit cigarettes. Why is it so hard to eat right and exercise? Is it because they are not chemical addictions? I believe it is all mental. It is what a person chooses to do. So why can I not stick to the choice of being healthy? Some say it is easier to be a quitter. Sure, but I can quit other things with ease. Why, why is this obstacle so much more difficult? Beats me, but don't think that being healthy isn't in the back of my mind when I eat something totally unhealthy. I think about it, but for some reason I want what is the worst for me. Every day is a celebration and I treat every day like a celebration. Live it up while you can is what I think. But by living it up all the time that can cause the time you have to live it up become shorter. So is it really worth it to party all the time now and be a glutten of so many things? Wouldn't it be nice to be able to party hearty in 50 years? Shoot, does any of this make sense?