Blah

So yeah. It has been a long time since I have had the feeling of blah. Do you know what the feeling of blah is? I am very familiar with it. It is probably a mild depression and that is probably the best way to describe it. You don't feel like seeing anyone. You don't feel like doing anything. You just want to escape from anything that you do. I am in this blah stage right now. I'm surprised that I am even blogging because I have not had much inspiration to write even though things are happening around me all the time. The holidays have been great. I can't complain. I saw all of my family and I love seeing my family. But since Christmas I have felt a little off. I've been keeping up with my vitamins so I know that it isn't that. It isn't anyone in particular either. It is more than likely just me being blah.

New Years Eve is tomorrow night. It is a big night for a lot of people but I have never been a big fan of New Years Eve. What I always deduce to probably be the source of this is that I never have anyone to share it with. Sure I have my friends but I don't have that one person. The one that makes it that much better because I am with them. Although this is always a deal for me I don't think that this is really why I feel blah. Why would I feel blah for almost a whole week because of one day? I guess it is possible but I doubt it. You may think... I can help Kyle get out of this funk. I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. Sometimes people need to be alone. Sometimes people want to be alone.

Right now I should be getting ready and then heading over to Spammy's for my Aunt's retirement party that she is having there. I have been saying that I would go for the longest time. I have wanted to go for the longest time. Now though, I don't want to shower, I don't want to get dressed, I don't want to leave the house. I would rather just lay down and watch a movie and escape into the world that I love so much in movies.

I have 2 going out options for New Years Eve. 1 is to go to Peoria and hang out with my buddies Crow and Ben and their friends there. If I go there I am afraid that it will be all couples and I will get even more depressed. I could also go to Melissa's pre party for New Years. Which isn't supposed to go late and then people from there will head downtown. I'm thinking I don't want to go downtown for sure. I have been to the bars each night for the last 8 out of 9 nights. Only Christmas eve did I NOT go to a bar. I did drink at home though but not at a bar. I go out because I feel the need to see people just to keep up with people.

My dad just walked in and asked me why I am not over at Spammy's yet. My aunt says that everyone is there and it is hopping. I answered him with an "I don't know". And it is the truth. I don't know why I am sitting here still with having yet to shower or do anything today. I really don't want to do jack shit....